If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
