im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
oh god the rape fog is back!
I look better un-naked...
Four minutes until I can fart!
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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