DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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