why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
