Quick, to the slutcave!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
