How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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