Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
