Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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