you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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