She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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