so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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