What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
the gays at disneyland are vicious
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
