How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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