So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
