He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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