You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
