I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
