I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
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You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
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I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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