I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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