Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
