Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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