i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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