we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
