Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?