Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk

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(803): im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk http://tfl.nu/jksc

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(612): View more from Minnesota

dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear

(952): View more from Minnesota

gross she's a slut

(612): View more from Minnesota

yea she doesn't shave either

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(612): dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear (952): gross she's a slut (612): yea she doesn't shave either http://tfl.nu/93ck

Replies (31) Good night (695) Bad night (3888)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with

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(402): what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with http://tfl.nu/hfaq

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit

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(803): Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit http://tfl.nu/192j

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(217): View more from Illinois

The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.

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(217): The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time. http://tfl.nu/mdb9

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(970): View more from Colorado

She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.

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(970): She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat. http://tfl.nu/yazk

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(409): View more from Texas

Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.

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(409): Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager. http://tfl.nu/h00w

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(504): View more from Louisiana

That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.

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(504): That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop. http://tfl.nu/jrhx

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(734): View more from Michigan

Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.

(904): View more from Florida

So when does your new flight leave?

(734): View more from Michigan

At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying

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(734): Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight. (904): So when does your new flight leave? (734): At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying http://tfl.nu/33le

Replies (8) Good night (1835) Bad night (536)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.

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(724): I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked. http://tfl.nu/4abp

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(440): View more from Ohio

Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.

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(440): Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits. http://tfl.nu/0lkb

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.

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(603): I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry. http://tfl.nu/hfvn

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(541): View more from Oregon

You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today

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(541): You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today http://tfl.nu/hkte

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(660): View more from Missouri

hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?

(816): View more from Missouri

yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward

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(660): hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv? (816): yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward http://tfl.nu/dn5c

Replies (12) Good night (1184) Bad night (182)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan

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(301): I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan http://tfl.nu/1x19

Replies (1) Good night (371) Bad night (167) Order T-Shirt

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