She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?