kristin has been a bad kristin
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit