just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.