What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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