i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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