Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
