Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize