you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Apparently you make a good broom.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Is Oprah even human
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
