We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
