that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
