The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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