Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
