I think my vagina is haunted
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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