Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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