ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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