Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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