ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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