I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
