My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
