I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i came on her dog
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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