i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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