He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
