I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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