Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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