just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
