Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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