I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
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i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
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you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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