The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
