Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize