Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
