Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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