I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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