hell yes lets make some ravioli
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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