Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
