Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
