Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
