This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize