oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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