I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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