i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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