she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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