ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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