Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
