Too much gin, very little bucket
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
