I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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