He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize