so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
